Can I tell who I am? Thoughts on identity

The 1992 novel “Who’s it that may inform who he (she) is” reveals human lives wandering and drifting in time when so-called postmodernism was being unfold in our society. Who I’m is none apart from identification. It’s essential to have this identification correctly and exactly, for no one can dwell with out this identification. The identification of who I’m shouldn’t be fashioned on my own alone. It’s constituted in relations with somebody, specifically, an in depth, vital Different. Relating to this, theorists of object relations in psychoanalysis present vital perception.

Donald Winnicott, the eminent pediatrician and object relations theorist of England, is thought to have proposed the idea of a „adequate mom.“ In keeping with him, it is a vital process of improvement for an toddler to type a way of self that’s cohesive and optimistic. When the toddler will get good caring and nurturing, the toddler’s self-integration, the mixing of physique and thoughts, goes properly and easily. The toddler accepts his physique as a part of himself by correct dealing with of the physique, and he feels that he dwells in his complete physique (Judith Mitrani, „A Framework for the Imaginary“).

That is the very technique of integration of physique and thoughts. Within the early part of rearing, by „holding“ and correct „dealing with“ by a adequate mom, the toddler accepts his physique as a part of himself and will get to know that the boundaries of his physique present obstacles between himself and the surface. In different phrases, Winnicott identified that part of improvement within the part of „holding,“ which is considered one of absolute dependence, previous to the toddler’s separation from the mom, is the primary integration dubbed „thoughts’s dwelling within the physique,“ which is the very institution of the toddler’s psycho-physical existence.

Studying Winnicott’s principle, I regarded into my experiences. There have been instances once I couldn’t settle for my physique, want and thoughts comfortably nearly as good and built-in. It appeared that they have been unusual, uncomfortable and never built-in, every completely different. I’m not certain whether or not everybody had such experiences or processes.

Nevertheless, as I turned an grownup, I believe that I can look after, love and understand my physique and thoughts positively as an built-in complete. Briefly, by Winnicott’s principle, I can understand the method by which human beings ought to keep intimate relations with others and be individuated as separate beings on the identical time.

Caregivers for the toddler will be moms, fathers or grandparents. As my sense of psycho-physical self is based in reference to caregivers in childhood, this turns into the bedrock of my identification in a wider social community in maturity. Not solely members of the family but in addition varied vital others, together with lecturers, pals, seniors and nice figures in historical past, can play a essential position in forming an identification in maturity.

In our society, persons are more likely to consider and choose an individual by exterior points of that individual, equivalent to his job, social standing and financial energy. Nonetheless, what’s tremendously vital is the individual’s inner, distinctive identification no matter exterior points.

Although I’ve neither a high-ranking occupation nor nice wealth, the interior identification that I’m treasured and dignified and should be revered as a human being is much more essential. Furthermore, it will likely be finest if I can dwell as an individual like a adequate mom, as defined by Winnicott. That is the one who is in shut relations with somebody and who cares for him with love and helps him develop and grow to be mature. Within the new yr of 2025, I need to attempt to grow to be an individual like this adequate mom.

Lee Nan-hee studied English in faculty and theology at Hanshin College.